Happy Halloween Homies!
Bros……Cabo is sweet. I think the best thing about going to Mexico is going to place like Cabo where it doesn’t feel like Mexico. I’ll definitely be going back, but I just wish they would bring some more Mexican pricing over there.
I left wondering why anyone would want to leave a place where they could rip off a bunch of tourists they way that they do down there. If I lived there the last place I would think about going is America.
2019 record
Last Week 2-1 Overall 13-11
Washington +3 vs Utah @ Washington Pick: Washington
Quick question. When did Utah get good? Next question. There are actually people on this earth that think Utah is going to win this game? LMAO! It’s not like this is Alabama in the Sugar Bowl.
Nebraska -3.5 @ Purdue Pick: NEBRASKA
You’re damn right I did it. Indiana is an amazing football team and if you swapped those Hoosier jerseys out for Clemson jerseys no one would be the wiser. The Huskers played them tough all game and barely lost. I think they turned a corner last week and that’s why we’re breaking the rules. The Blackshirts are going to make a statement to the world that will surely be watching on Saturday. Natty 2020.
CSU -8.5 vs UNLV @ CSU Pick: CSU
I went from 80 every day in Cabo last week to coming home to the polar vortex. It sucks. It’ll be below freezing at kick and the boys from Vegas are going to fold. No one likes being outside in this shit. There’s going to be more people working at the stadium than actually in the stadium, but at least the beer line will be short. CSU is gonna roll.
I’m getting ready to take my kids trick or treating for like 5 minutes tonight…….who am I kidding. My wife is getting ready to take my kids trick or treating for like 5 minutes tonight. It sounds awful. As soon as they are out of sight I’m just gonna turn the lights off, grab some beers, eat the candy I’m supposed to be handing out, and watch Appy State get this cover like they always do.
Have a great weekend fellas!

Greetings from Cabo!
This isn’t going to be very long or very well thought out because I’m on the 6th day of this bender and it’s way too nice outside to be hammering away on this iPad. Those Modelos aren’t going to drink themselves.
2019 record Last week 1-2 Overall 11-10
Oregon -14 vs Wazzu @ Oregon. Pick: Ducks
It pains me to fade the pirate. Dude is my favorite coach in all of football. Hearing him call his team soft, fat, and entitled was one of the best sound bites of all time. The issue is that I don’t think it will cause any changes. I know when my wife calls me soft, fat and entitled it doesn’t change my behavior.
Auburn +10.5 @ LSU Pick: Auburn
LSU has been playing as well as anyone in the country and I think they’ll probably be too much for Auburn, but 10.5 is too many. I think if you just tell your bookie you want the Tigers you can’t lose.
App st @ S Alabama Pick: App St
I don’t know a single damn thing about either one of these teams. All I know is that my brother keeps betting on them and they have been a cash machine.
That’s it. All I’ve got. I’m going to get back to that bender now if that’s cool with everyone.
Have a great weekend boys!

Sent from my iPad

Happy Friday Fuckers,
Just over here gettin’ dubs, doing what I do. You know the drill.
Let’s just get this out of the way. I know that Michigan didn’t play the Suckeyes yet and I meant that Wisconsin was doing the handing of panties to Harbaugh. You all knew what I meant, but you just had to be dicks about it.
Next, I had Texas +11 and I’ve received some feedback regarding that sometimes it’s hard to know which team I pick. I know that sometimes the analysis of the game can get pretty technical so I’ll try to be more specific, but my pick is always listed first when I list the matchup.
By the way, Wyoming second half didn’t cover. That one hurt…….a lot.
Wisconsin -31 @ Illinois. Pick: Wisconsin
Yep. We’re still gonna fade Black Santa and the Illini. Why you ask? Because they still suck. You know how I know that? Because Nebraska beat them and Nebraska is a tire fire of a football team. The Nebraska wrestling team could beat Nebraska football at football. Ugh! They’re the worst. PJ Fleck rowed his fricking boat up right up Nebraska’s ass. Being a Nebraska fan is like being………whatever. Anyways, Wisconsin runs over Illinois and I think it’ll probably be a shutout to boot.
Florida -5 @ South Carolina Pick: Florida
Florida is the real deal. That LSU game was awesome. Especially if you were on the Tigers! South Carolina just beat Georgia and I don’t know what to think about that. I think it’s probably a lot like being at a party and hooking up with a chick that’s way out of your league. She’s drunk, you’re drunk and the whole time you’re wondering if it’s really happening. The next day she’s gone and you wonder if maybe she wants to go grab something to eat and she starts her side of the conversation with. “Last night was really fun, but…..” Just do what we all do Cocks. Lock that one in the spank bank and move on with your sorry reality.
Alabama -34.5 vs TN @ Bama Pick: Bama (duh)
Sticking with the theme of betting on good teams against horrible teams we come to Bama vs TN. Alabama by a million. Not even close ever. Tennessee won’t even win the coin toss. They won’t win the party. They won’t win at life. Just taking L’s like Miley Cyrus takes D’s And V’s and ATMs. Tua probably won’t even have a very good game because they won’t even have to pass the ball and he’ll only play for 35 seconds because they’ll already be up 21-0.
So I’m headed to Cabo with my wife and some friends for a week. Leaving on Sunday at 11:30 so if you hear about a United Flight that had to make an emergency landing because some psycho kept breaking the TVs on the plane I’m gonna need one of you dudes to come pick me up. Here’s a couple of lines for this next week
Modelo’s consumed o/u 100
Pounds gained o/u 10
Food poisoning. Yes -150. No +135
Number of time I get laid o/u 1
Still married next Sunday even money
Enjoy the weekend boys!

Hey there homies,
3-0 like a muthaeffin’ boss and that Georgia cover was durrrrtttttyyyy! Gambling is so much fun. It makes you wonder why you even have a day job.
2019 Record
Last Week 3-0 suck it bookieman Overall 10-8
Michigan -23 @ Illinois
Khaki Jesus has had a rough go of it lately. The offense has been horrible and he got his panties handed to him by the Suckeyes. There’s a cure for everything though. Like hot tea for a sore throat or McDonalds for a hangover or Penicillin for itchy things, Illinois will make it all better. Big Blue will move the ball at will and will make Illinois rethink using their tax dollars on football.
Texas vs Oklahoma @ a fair somewhere
This is always a weird game and always really fun to watch. I think my favorite part is watching the masses at the Texas state fair getting heart disease. Deep fried butter? Deep fried twinkies? Deep fried Snickers? The first two sound gross, but I could probably get down with a deep fried snickers. I think that one of these years Wal Mart should have their annual meeting there for the game. All of their customers are already there anyway.
LSU -13 vs Florida @ Death Valley
This is another line that just stinks. I really thought it would come out at under a touchdown so you have to take Florida, right?!?! Hell nah. The line hasn’t budged and I suppose someone is thinking that Kyle Trask is going to pee himself when he steps into that atmosphere. I’m inclined to believe them. Joe Burrow for Heisman!
Other than basking in my 3-0 glory of last week I think I have a pretty good weekend planned out. I’m gonna watch some football, drink some beers, throw things, drink more beers, check my bank account, smile, have a sandwich, tell my wife not to bother me, search “how to hide from your bookie” on google, switch to bourbon, cry, and put a million dollars on Wyoming to try to break even.
I hope your weekend goes as good as mine does.

Happy Friday Furburgers,
The good news is that I’m home safe after taking that flight with my Brother In Law. There was some sketchy parts, but he did great! I learned a couple of things.
1. The best way I can explain one of those planes is a Jeep Wrangler with wings. It’s not very big. 2. Wind matters. A lot! Nothing like flying West with your nose pointed Southwest. 3. Being hungover in a plane like that is the worst. I thought about jumping out a couple of times. 4. There are no bathrooms and you can’t pull over to a gas station. #1 = no problem, #2 = nightmare fuel
2019 Record
Last Week 2-1 Overall 7-8
Ohio State -20 vs Sparty @ The Shoe
So last Saturday was awesome. I woke up and went to my niece’s soccer game, had a couple of Modelo’s with breakfast and headed to Lincoln. We got to Lincoln and found a spot at a bar to post up and watch some football. I saw a ton of old friends which was awesome. The conversations went something like this. “Well they’re clearly better than us, but you never know!” After a couple more beers and some shots that conversation switched to, “I don’t know man. They haven’t played anyone. I have a good feeling about this!” By the time we stumbled our asses into the stadium it was, “These mutherfukkers have no idea what’s coming. This is Lincoln baby! We run this bitch!”
48-7
By the way, the Suckeyes violate Sparty. Win by a million.
Georgia -24.5 @ Tennessee
I think Tennessee and Nebraska should schedule each other because there’s no other way they’ll ever play. The chances of both of them getting to a bowl game in the same year is approaching zero. Georgia, on the other hand, is a hell of a team and I feel like they are going to bring the wood to the Vols tomorrow. Tennessee has shown that their D is OK, but their offense is trash. It gets ugly late. 38-7
Iowa State -3.5 vs TCU @ Jack Trice
You don’t just roll into Ames, Iowa on a Saturday and get dubs. It’s one of the most intimidating venues in all of football. Jack Trice Stadium and it’s 8,500 fans (that are all from Iowa btw, so their faces all have that inbreddy look to them) are a fearsome sight for any opponent. TCU’s defense is schizophrenic and the Cyclones have found their passing attack. I really don’t think it’s even close. If Iowa City, Iowa is America’s butthole, Ames is the hemorrhoid.
So I have a pretty exciting Saturday planned. I’m gonna head over to a middle school girls volleyball tournament which starts at 9:00 AM. It’s a single elimination tournament so if they lose it means grabbing a couple of beers and yelling at my TV. If they win, they play again at 1:00. If they win again, they play in the middle of the afternoon. Go whoever is playing my daughters team!!!!!!
Enjoy the weekend boys.